"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."
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Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Anger - How to overcome it??

There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.
                                                                                                                                       - Plato

This post is only for people who realize that they get very angry at times and are unable to control their actions. I came across these Buddhist ideas to overcome anger and enable us to lead peaceful lives. I am a long way from actually practising any of these ideas but thought it would be a nice reminder online.

Every action of man is triggered by some need. Most of the destruction in the world, be it from the wars that annihilate nations to a mild rebuke is because someone, somewhere feels insulted, willful, unhappy, disappointed. This makes them angry and in turn destructive. But in truth, a person who is angry suffers. He is unable to handle his suffering. His pain is so great that he wants the person who he believes, has caused his suffering to suffer in return.

Realising that "Suffering" is the root cause of  anger and it cannot be lessened by abusing others is the first step in overcoming anger. Every man is haunted by remorse sooner or later. "If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is to go back and try to put out the fire, not to run after the person you believe to be the arsonist". 

  • "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". Unhappy childhood might be a cause for easy provocation. Realizing that we have no control over our past, but absolutely responsible for our actions in the present and future.
  • "We are what we eat" - This is not the motto for just the physical well-being, but also emotional. The book recommends a vegetarian diet with less salt. Boiled vegetables, salad, greens, milk - a well balanced diet  is the best. Drink plenty of water and fruit juices. Eat less and chew your food very well.Be mindful of your chewing and appreciate the taste of the food. Avoid alcohol, meat and spicy addictive food.
  • "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret". Never do or say anything when you are angry.
  • Do not "Vent" your anger:When you are angry, do not vent it out - by hitting something, boxing, slamming the door etc. The relief is transient  and only because you are tired. By these means, you are not calming or reducing your anger, but merely rehearsing it. 
  • Practise Mindful breathing - Deep breaths that emphasize that you are alive and that there is a pleasant world around you to explore.  Exercise 30 minutes everyday and practise deep breathing whenever possible through out the day.
Everyone must have come across these ideas at one point or another, but remembering this at the time you are angry is crucial. For this to be a reflex, you must practise.

While few are capable of breezing through annoying situations, others fret and fume incapable of controlling their anger.

Learn to "Let GO and Be PRESENT". 


  1. Good advice Ruby. Now if I can only remember... No, I rarely get that angry - Dave

  2. Ruby so good to see that you have compiled so much of wisdom in your short post! Very thoughtful!

  3. Thanks for your kind comment Rahul!

  4. hi ruby,

    thank you for ur kind words to my blog....i use natraj hb hard and soft pencils all ranges......staedtler pencils are very good too.....and a kneaded eraser for highlights...

    take care,


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