The Story - Part 2

Summer was officially over, fall was turning the leaves golden and yellow. Steph was describing his garden to her. After the breakup, she was devastated but relied on Steph and her friends for emotional support. The relationship itself lasted three months but she felt the effect of the past trauma very keenly. Steph encouraged her to go out. All she was now capable of doing was shower, cook and eat. While she used to sleep around midnight, she was sleeping later and later until she started sleeping at six in the morning. Steph was there for her constantly. He would appear every few hours in between meetings to check on her, talk to her and get to know her. He encouraged her to paint the walls of her kitchen and the repairs in her bedroom. He always talked about his love for outdoors and working out and encouraged her to go out in the sun and workout more. He joked that if he were brown, he would stay all day in the sun. In the course of a month, they felt a bond and connection that was a mutual delight.

At first, Steph did not reveal much of himself to her. She felt he was being very cautious and was testing the waters if she is genuine and if she is who she said she is. Their conversations centered around workplace, crushes on bosses, people who have fallen for them and stories about how he impressed some of the women in his life. He mildly seemed to flirt with her and she lapped up the attention. He sent her his recordings with one of the women he fell in love with singing at the end of the song. At first, he sent her a very attractive picture but with the hoodie of the jacket on. She joked that he looked like a very beautiful, muslim woman with a head scarf. He also told her he was 46 years old. They had conversations about core values where she mentioned that hers were honesty, integrity and ethics. He valued human connection and happiness above all else. He then revealed his true age which was 52 and that he has had affairs in the past. While she found this mildly shocking, she was touched that he would actually trust her with the truth and was more drawn to him. With this mutual acceptance and delight to have found each other, she wanted to learn more about him.

Steph was a revelation to her. She had never met anyone like him. He had a normal childhood with well to parents who were loving and supportive. He played rugby, tennis, golf and loved mixed martial arts, jujutsu and judo. He said that he was a kid who was not very interested in other people. He was smart, intelligent, healthy and physically active and he knew it. He was a popular kid in high school and said it was easy being popular. It was in university he found women and that had changed his world. He played piano, sax, drums, bass, guitar and sang sweetly. He impressed her by sending her the song he had recorded for her. He believed in forgiveness, nonjudgementalness, unlimited second chances, softness, self sacrifice and love. He did not believe in search for justice. She found herself mesmerized by him. She sent him the link to her blog and they discovered similar tastes in books. He like Silmarillion to LOTR, the Dune books and romantic books like Anna Karenina. 

She started telling him everything about herself. Her childhood, trauma, abuse, growing up with strict parents, the religious upbringing, the love of gardens and birds her mother had instilled in her. She told him about her fondest childhood memories, collecting flowers in the garden, watering the plants, watching birds' nests. They talked about politics and they agreed a lot, where she disagreed, he gently explained the reasons for his opinion and she found herself agreeing to it. They talked about religion and race and economy. He was a big guy at 6 4' and when he said he could take on any man in a fight, she found his confidence and arrogance charming. He liked when she called him a charming liar. 

She wanted to know him more. She asked him for a voice note just to see what he sounded like, but he refused and instead sent his recordings. She asked to voice call and he sent her voice notes.  When he mentioned that he had a very secure relationship with his wife, they went out on dates and she felt the first pain pierce her heart. She wanted to watch a movie with him and when she learned that he had watched Notting Hill with his wife, she left the chat. She found herself falling for him. She told him about her attachment issues and shared the videos on limerance and suggested that they perhaps should stop speaking. He had always flirted with her in a romantic way but never in any other manner. He promised to keep the conversation absolutely appropriate and not to push boundaries for fun.

While Steph made the promise, she felt he did not stick to it. He talked about the honeymoon tradition which originated in the medieval times where the groom would kidnap his bride and hold her until her family would give up the search or she would get pregnant, making all questions of her return moot. She smiled and replied he could kidnap her anytime and she wanted a girl baby but a boy baby would be great too. She started lucid dreaming about him and told him her dreams. He told her that he did not want to lose her, he could only be a friend to her and that of course if they met at 20 and lived in same country, he would have asked for a date, but that is not reality.